Akatuki's rules and Zexion's misunderstanding
by Osamu Kurogane
Summary: This is a pretty long one-shot about best friends and misunderstandings. Please read and review!


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or Kingdom hearts

This is a story of what would happen if Akatsuki person and an Organization XIII person met. Hope you like!!! This is a one-shot… Read and Review!

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Itachi was walking around the Akatsuki Head-quarters/ Hang-out, because there was nothing better to do there except for listening to the ranting on about the beauty of art from Deidara, listen to the list of insults from Hidan, listen to Tobi talk about cookies and other idiotic things, listen to Kisame rant on about the environment, or listen to Kakuzu insult Hidan. The others didn't really do anything. And all those other choices were annoying, so Itachi always chose to walk around the hang-out.

If only there was someone Itachi could have a decent conversation with.

A black whole that appeared out of nowhere made Itachi stop in his tracks. How did anyone know about the hang-out? Anyway, someone walked out of the whole. It was a guy a little shorter then Itachi, with a bluish-periwinklish light hair and blue eyes. He wore a black robe that had a bunch of tassels and one long zipper that went all the way down to the bottom of it. Part of his hair was covering his right eye, so he looked sort emo, and he was holding a book.

The person looked at Itachi with a look in his eyes that showed interest. "You seem interesting enough. Can we talk? My hang-out is really boring and is filled a bunch of idiots. I can't seem to find a decent conversation anywhere in that universe. So, I had to go to another universe to find one. A decent conversation that is." He said.

Itachi just stared at him for a few minutes, evaluating if he was friend or foe to the organization he worked for, and decided he was a neutral party. He shrugged and answered "Sure. I can't seem to find a decent conversation in this place either."

So, the two of them introduced themselves.

"My name is Zexion. My organization is called Organization XIII. If you can't tell there are thirteen of us in the organization."

"My name is Itachi. My organization is called Akatsuki. There are nine in our organization."

"Interesting."

They both sat on the ground in one of Akatsuki's corridors talking about the idiots in their organizations.

"Marluxia is probably one of the gayest people I have ever met in my life. He has pink hair and he throws roses in the air to make his own background."

"That sort of reminds me. Deidara really looks like a girl. Like, I don't know, ten people have already thought he was a girl when they first saw him. And then there's Hidan. I can totally tell he's gay for his partner, Kakuzu, but he tries to cover it up by insulting him and cussing a lot."

"Oh, that's like this one guy. His name is Axel and he's a total nube. He doesn't cuss a lot, but he sure does get on everyone's nerves."

"The person who gets on everyone's nerves in Akatsuki is Tobi. He is just a ball of sugar that wears a mask. He reminds me of a Jack-o-Lantern. He talks super fast and acts like a child."

"The one that acts like a child in Orgy 13… Is it okay if I call it that?"

"It's your organization."

"Okay. Well, the one who acts like a child in Orgy 13 is Demyx. He is so childish. Plus, He plays the sitar as his weapon. He yells "Dance, Water, Dance" so that he can control water and make them into music notes and water versions of himself. It's so cheesy"

"OMG! There's this one guy, he's my partner, and he looks like he has the features of a fish and he can control water. All he ever talks about is the environment and how fish is a meat and vegetarians shouldn't eat it. He told me people think fish isn't considered a meat."

"Really? I sooooo didn't know that. The person who's trying to go a diet in Orgy 13 is the only girl in our group, Larxene. She is, like, a total pig though. She gains weight just by looking at food. OMG! That reminds me of Vexen. He's the scientist of our group and he poisons everyone's food with his freakin' experiments! He tried to give Larxene a pill that makes her "lose 10 pounds" every time she takes one, but she wouldn't take it because the last time she took one of his pills, it made her bloated and even fatter than she already is!"

"LOL."

So, after a while of talking they started to sound like those really snobby cheerleaders.

"Like, OMG, I didn't even, like, know that was even, like, possible!"

"Like, seriously!"

Then, Deidara just so happened to be walking down the corridor.

"Itachi. Who the heck is this?" Deidara pointed at Zexion.

"This is my new friend, bimbo. Now stop talking to me and go talk to Tobi about your love of the Beauty of Art. Gosh" Itachi told him with the rolling of his eyes.

"Huh?" Deidara had never heard Itachi speak in that manner. It sounded like… cheerleader? "Itachi, what happened to your voice?"

"I don't know what you're, like, talking about." Itachi blinked. He just noticed his voice change. He cleared his throat. "I do not know what you are talking about, Deidara…" He said in his normal voice.

"Really. Who the heck is this dude sitting right next to you in the middle of this corridor, IN THE AKATSUKI HEADQUARTERS!!!"

Zexion looked nervous. "This is your organizations headquarters? Why didn't you freakin' tell me?!?!" Zexion looked like a person who was going to be killed.

"Don't worry. You came here of your own accord without coming through the entrance, right?" Itachi was trying to assure his new friend.

"Right…" Zexion didn't know where this was going.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. You can just go out the same way you came in! Where is your organization anyway?" Itachi was completely ignoring Deidara.

"Helloooooooo!!! YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY QUESTION!!!" Deidara shouted trying to get Itachi's attention.

Itachi glared at him. "I never planned on answering any questions you had, bimbo. Now stop bothering me and my friend or you will face the living hell that is my Sharingan." Itachi threatened, reverting back to his original, non-girly self.

"Are you torturing Deidara with your threats again, Itachi?" said a voice from no where.

"Kisame. You know it thrills me so. What else can I do to make this blond stop pestering me?" Itachi said to the tall figure behind Deidara.

Zexion was amazed when he saw the blue, fish-like man. "So this must be the Kisame you were telling me about. And that's Deidara? You know, now that I think about it, he really does look like a girl. It's just so dim in here. I can barely see anything."

"Who the hell is that short person? He looks to be emo to me. With that bluish-purplish light hair of his. And you told him about me, Itachi?" Kisame observed and asked.

Itachi grabbed Zexion by the shoulder and into a hug. Zexion actually blushed from the close contact with another person. People barely ever hugged him. Especially people who have deep manly voices and talk really manly. It was mostly Marluxia who always hugged him. "This is my new bestest most best friend in the world. And NO you can't eat him, Zetsu!" Itachi said while snuggling his cheek on Zexion's cheek. But when he said the Zetsu part, he looked at a blank wall that seemed to have something morphing out of it now.

"As sharp as always, Itachi." said a really comforting voice. "You would make a really good player in I-spy!!!" said a gruffy, partially scary voice.

The comforting voice belonged to the white side of this strange plant-like person's face and the sandpaper-like voice seemed to belong to the black side of his face. Really, REALLY creepy…

"I do have my sharingan you know. What do you want here?" Itachi asked in an I-don't-really-care-what-you-have-to-say-voice-but-I-have-to-ask-you-or-leader-will-get-mad-at-me-for-not-caring type of voice.

"The security cameras in this place have been watching you two for about 2 hours and I couldn't take that squabbling of yours, so I came here to stop it. But, it looks like I came too late because Deidara already brang back your senses with his idiotic questions." Zetsu replied, even though he really didn't care either, but Leader was watching their every move with his freaky realm-corpse-dolls.

"HEY!!!" shouted Deidara after he thought about what Zetsu said for a few seconds.

"We have security cameras? I thought we couldn't afford those." Kisame was the one to speak that time.

"Yeah, the organization didn't. But it seems Kakuzu did, that money grubbing… anyway. Why are you here, stranger?" Zetsu asked and informed.

"I just came here for a decent conversation, I swear on my tomb-stone thingy that is back at my organization's hang-out!" Zexion said, trying to bring his hands up in a surrender position, but Itachi's hug wouldn't allow him to. "Can you put me down now, Itachi?"

"NO!!! Because the meanies are going to make me through you away!" Itachi argued back.

"WHAT?!?!" Zexion was going to thrown away?!?!

"It's a policy that Leader made up. "If an intruder ever comes into the hangout, he/she will be thrown away, never to be seen by the light again." were his exact words, but, Itachi, remember the loop hole to that rule?" White-Zetsu explained and asked Itachi.

"Oh, yeah. "If the intruder is part of the organization and/or has let one of the members of Akatsuki drink some of his/her blood from a cut to the intruder's lip, he/she shall not be thrown away." That was the loophole right?" Itachi asked. He didn't know if that was the right one.

"That's the one. I don't even know why the leader had to make it the lip, but that's the policy. So all you have to do is cut your friends lip and drink some of his blood, and he can come at any time of day. And if the boy wants his other friends to come meet you, you're going to have to do the same thing to them as well." White-Zetsu explained again. "That perverted old man." Black-Zetsu added.

"WHAT?!?!" Zexion shouted with his voice cracking from embarrassment. Itachi had to drink his blood from his LIP?!?! Isn't the pretty much KISSING?!?!

"I said he's a perverted old man." Black-Zetsu repeated. "I don't think that's what he meant." White-Zetsu told Black-Zetsu. "Well then, what was he talking about?" Black-Zetsu asked White-Zetsu. "He probably meant about the lip and blood thing." White-Zetsu told Black-Zetsu. "That would make more sense about his voice cracking." Black-Zetsu told White-Zetsu. "Yes it would appear so." White-Zetsu told Black-Zetsu.

Zexion looked at Zetsu as if he was crazy. Was this guy having a conversation with himself? Or did he really have two different sides? The last one was weirder and this whole place seemed to be filled with freaks, so he went with that one.

"So are we going to do it? I have a kunai." Itachi inquiered, bringing out a kunai from his pack.

"YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT?!?!" Zexion voice was partially high pitched and his hair was standing on end.

"Well, yeah. I mean, it is protocol and if we do not do it you will be thrown away, never to see light again. Are you ready?" Itachi asked, holding up the kunai. This was his first actual friend since the slaughter of his family that he did himself. He didn't want him to get thrown away. Being thrown away was always done by Hidan and that was never a very pleasant thought.

Zexion thought about it, then nodded. He didn't want to get thrown away either because then he would be of no use to the organization.

He pushed out his lip so it could be cut cleanly. Itachi put Zexion down (yes, he was still hugging him) and brang the kunai up. Zexion shut his eyes. Itachi made a swift movement and a red line was seen on Zexion's lower lip, then blood started gushing out of it. But before the blood could gush out, Itachi dragged Zexion's lower lip into a glass where the blood drained into and when the glass was half way full, he put a bandaid on Zexion's lip which immediately stopped the gushing… somehow…

Zexion was pail from the sudden blood loss from his head but his head immediately brought back its color when he saw his blood in a cup. "That's what you meant?" He asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Yeah. What did you think it was. Kissing?" Itachi asked with an arched eyebrow.

Zexion looked away. "It was all because of Zetsu's comment." Zexion was slightly blushing.

"I said perverted old man because he make you touch some one-else's lip to a glass that you're going to be drinking from. That's considered an indirect kiss." Black-Zetsu said, trying to clear up the confusion.

Cue anime fall from everyone in the corridor, except for Zetsu.

"That is such childish logic. Anyway, what blood-type are you, Zexion?" Itachi asked.

"Oh, I actually don't know what I—" Zexion was interrupted by Zetsu biting his wrist. "WTF!!!"

"I'd say he's AB. What do you think, Tsu?" The White-Zetsu said. "I'd say the same thing, Ze." The Black-Zetsu replied.

"Oo. I love blood-type AB. But my most favorite is O. But that's so hard to find, so I just settle for AB." Itachi explained. Then he chugged the whole glass of blood. But then…

"YOU GUY'S LIED!!! THIS IS BLOODTYPE A!!! THAT'S MY SECOND LEAST FAVORITE BLOOD TYPE!!!" Itachi practically screamed. He was giving Zetsu, who rolling on the floor laughing, a Kuchiki Byakuya (whom I don't own) hardcore Death glare with sharingan, which added to the threatening-ness.

"Sorry, pfft, Itachi!!! It was just, HAHA, just to good of a, WAHAHAHAHA, to good of a chance!!!" Ze and Tsu said in unison, while LMAO-ing. (Yeah, I just named them that since it's more convenient that way.)

Itachi just kept glaring at them. Then Zetsu started to falter from laughing from amusement to laughing from nervousness under the hardcore glare being aimed at them. Then he stopped all together and it was silent for a few seconds until you heard the sound of Zetsu going back into the wall.

"Yeah, you better disappear. So now you can stay here for long as you like whenever you like, Zexion!" Itachi had one of the Bi-polar personality thingies. So everyone did an anime fall except for Itachi.

Deidara and Kisame, whom were there the whole time during this, just shrugged and walked off into another corridor.

Zexion and Itachi had a bit more of a conversation until Zexion had to report back home. How sad.

By the time Zexion left it was around… Itachi went outside to see what time it was since you can't tell time in a cave… 6:00 pm.

So, he went back to walking around the Akatsuki hang-out.

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Hope you enjoyed! Read and Review please! Thank you!


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